Waiting or Dating?
Have you decided to wait or date while you are single? Some say waiting is best because it will allow only the right person in your life at the right time. Others say dating is essential to find what you want and to grow into a relationship.
In order to make the right decision, we have to individually use discernment based on our heart and where we are in our life with God. Discernment is a practice where we distinguish what is best and right in any given situation. Discernment is based off of truth and wisdom from the word of God.
I learned a lesson a few years ago when I thought I was ready to start dating. I had healed from a past relationship and was ready to open my heart again. I saw a guy I liked one day and a friend recommended him as someone I should get to know. I knew he was a Christian, so I decided to give it a shot.
Everything was pretty good, but then some red flags came up, but I brushed them off because I didn’t want to be too hard with my standards. Through the time we were talking I found out he wasn’t ready for a serious relationship as I was, but he wanted to still get the benefits of a relationship. I could have kept playing those games until he was ready, but I found doing this and trying harder to prove to him that I worth it was only hurting me more. I had to clearly communicate what I needed and walk away to guard my heart.
I learned that though there are opportunities to date and talk with guys that I had to count the cost of how it would weigh on my heart. Did I want to waste time with those who are not looking for a wife or do I want to wait on one who will clearly communicate that he wants a wife?
That is the decision we have to make when we are choosing to date or wait. What do we really want? If it is marriage, we can’t have a girlfriend mentality. We have to raise our standards and communicate clearly from the beginning what we need and accept what comes with that. Someone who is right for you will be in agreement with those standards and will not want to cross your boundaries when they are clear.
I encourage you to pray about it and don’t give your pearls away to the wrong person. Some women cook, clean and give her whole heart without a commitment and become disappointed when nothing changes. Use wisdom and discernment. There will be a time for those things in a covenant marriage, not before.
“Do not give dogs what is holy, and do not throw your pearls before pigs, lest they trample them underfoot and turn to attack you. Matthew 7:6
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